Why I Said Goodbye to Alcohol After My Marriage Ended

How Giving Up Drinking Gave Me Back My Life

For most of my married life, I was a drinker.

The only significant breaks from alcohol were during my pregnancies.

I became a cliché: the mommy wine-drinker.

When my marriage began to crumble, I relied on alcohol to numb the pain.

The Descent into Chaos

During the week, I managed to control my drinking to one or two glasses of wine.

However, on weekends, I would lose control, leading to chaotic episodes and massive arguments since we were still living together while trying to sell our marital home.

The Breaking Point

The last time I drank heavily was the worst night of my life. It began innocuously enough; it was a Saturday, and we had cooked dinner together and continued drinking afterward. I questioned my husband about when his affair had started.

Initially, I had suspected it had been six months, given the downturn in our intimacy that happened at that time.

Later, I thought it might have started at the beginning of the COVID lockdown, which would have meant two years.

Fueled by the bravado of alcohol, his answer was beyond what I could have imagined: the affair had been ongoing for four years.

Facing the Truth

My world shifted as I grasped how much of my life had been a lie.

I didn't sleep at all that night. I screamed and raged; I howled like a wounded animal. The pain was indescribable.

He hadn't just stolen our joint future from me; he'd now stolen a massive chunk of my past as well.

I was a mess. After that night, I made the decision to stop drinking completely.

Choosing Sobriety

It was clear to me that alcohol had been masking my pain and allowing me to avoid facing reality.

I knew that in order to heal and move forward, I needed to face everything head-on without any numbing or distraction.

I needed to prioritize my mental health. In those initial days after the discovery, I experienced passive ideation—essentially, I had fleeting thoughts that it would be easier if I simply didn't wake up one morning.

Quitting drinking was crucial for me to endure the remaining time living with my soon-to-be ex-husband without making any reckless decisions or doing anything I may regret.

So, my sobriety journey began.

The Struggle with Temptation

Over the next six months, I had a drink on only five occasions—Christmas, birthdays, holidays, and meals out.

I began to notice that the day after drinking, I experienced a severe drop in mood. This was a revelation, as I had never abstained from alcohol long enough to notice the correlation.

It came as a surprise that alcohol no longer agreed with me.

I realized I no longer had that crutch, and it was kind of scary.

Redefining My Identity

Alcohol had been a big part of my life for decades and was almost part of my identity. Wine had been there for me during good times and bad, but now it was no longer an option.

Even one drink on special occasions was now out of the question as it left me tearful and in a dark place for days after.

I couldn't believe the profound effect alcohol had on my mental health.

Finding New Strength

I began to navigate life without alcohol. I switched to sparkling water, diet sodas, or non-alcoholic cocktails instead.

And slowly but surely, I started to feel more like myself than ever before.

The journey towards sobriety has not been easy.

It has forced me to confront difficult emotions and memories that I had long buried under layers of alcohol-induced haze.

But it has also given me a newfound strength and resilience.

Embracing Self-Care

With each passing day, I learned how to deal with my emotions in a healthy way and face my problems head-on.

I've discovered new ways to cope with stress and anxiety, such as meditation, exercise, and spending time in nature.

But most importantly, sobriety has given me the gift of self-love and self-care.

Without numbing myself with alcohol, I am able to truly listen to my body and take care of myself.

I have started prioritizing my physical and mental health, and it has had a positive impact on all aspects of my life.

Overcoming Challenges

Of course, there are still challenges and moments of temptation.

Social events where alcohol is present can be difficult, but I learned to stick with my non-alcoholic options and focus on the company and conversation instead.

And over time, it has become easier to say "no" to alcohol without feeling like I was missing out.

A New Chapter

Overall, my decision to quit drinking has been one of the best choices I've ever made for myself.

It hasn't always been easy, but it's been worth it.

I now have a newfound sense of self-control, confidence, and inner strength that I didn't know existed within me.

And most importantly, I am living a healthier and happier life without alcohol.

Encouragement for Others

If you are considering giving up alcohol, know that it is possible.

If you need help, there is a supportive community out there to help you along the way.

Don't let fear or societal pressure hold you back from making a positive change for yourself.

It's never too late to start living your best life without alcohol.