18 Self-Care Strategies to Help You Recover from Betrayal Trauma

Empowering Steps to Rebuild and Heal from Heartbreak

Taking care of ourselves is important in all aspects of our lives, but it becomes even more crucial when we are recovering from betrayal trauma.

Betrayal can leave us feeling broken, lost, and overwhelmed. It's a difficult road to recovery, but self-care strategies can help us heal and rebuild ourselves.

Here are 18 self-care strategies that have helped me to rebuild myself following betrayal trauma.

Seek Support

Betrayal trauma can seriously affect our mental health. It's important to find support in online communities where we can connect with others who've experienced the same.

Starting this Substack is my way of making sure no one feels alone while dealing with betrayal trauma.

Connect with Nature Daily

Nature has a powerful healing effect on our mind and body. Make it a point to get outside every day, even if it's just for a short walk.

Being in nature can reduce stress, improve mood, and promote relaxation.

Stay Physically Active

It can be tempting to just curl up into a ball and move as little as possible when our world has been upended by the person we love most in the world, but exercise is an important aspect of self-care, as it can release endorphins and improve our overall well-being.

Engaging in physical activity, whether it's going for a run, attending a fitness class, or just simply going for a walk, can also serve as a healthy outlet for any built-up anger or frustration.

Throwing around dumbbells and power walking was my kind of therapy and super cathartic.

Embrace Self-Compassion

Healing takes time, and it's important to be patient and kind to ourselves during this process.

We may experience setbacks or difficult emotions, but it's important to acknowledge that we are doing our best and practice self-compassion.

This can involve speaking kindly to ourselves, taking breaks when needed, and engaging in self-care activities.

Get Professional Help

While the above strategies can be helpful in managing betrayal trauma, it's important to seek professional help if needed.

A therapist who specializes in trauma and betrayal can provide additional support and guidance on your healing journey. They can also help you develop healthy coping mechanisms and address any underlying issues related to the trauma.

Many swear by EMDR for tackling trauma, but personally, I myself have found Internal Family Systems with a hypnotherapist to be a gentle and effective approach.

Set and Enforce Boundaries

It's important to set boundaries with the person who has caused the betrayal trauma and also with others in your life. This may involve limiting or cutting off contact, saying no to things that make you uncomfortable, and communicating your needs clearly.

Many of us will have been walked over by people we were trying to please and so we need to learn how to set boundaries or relearn if someone has constantly crossed them.

Boundaries are essential for maintaining your emotional well-being and self-respect.

Journal and Reflect

Journaling can be a powerful tool in processing and healing from betrayal trauma. It allows us to express our thoughts and emotions, gain insight into patterns or triggers, and track our progress over time.

Additionally, taking time for self-reflection can help us understand our feelings and behaviors better, leading to personal growth and healing.

Prioritize Sleep and Rest

Healing from betrayal trauma can be emotionally and mentally draining, so it's important to prioritize sleep and rest.

Getting enough quality sleep can improve our mood, energy levels, and ability to cope with stress.

Maintain a Balanced Diet

Taking care of our physical health can also support our emotional well-being. Eating a balanced and nutritious diet can provide us with the energy and nutrients we need to cope with the effects of betrayal trauma.

I know when I eat junk food, I become sluggish, so I don't feel like moving. This leads to low mood, making it even harder for me to process and heal from the trauma.

A high-protein, high-fiber diet of nutritious, colorful, and healthy foods helps me feel better emotionally and physically.

Seek Out Positive Relationships

During recovery from betrayal trauma, we may find ourselves reevaluating our relationships and cutting ties with toxic or unhealthy people. This can be difficult, but it's important to surround ourselves with positive and supportive individuals who uplift us.

When I went through my breakup, it also caused me to examine all of my friendships, and I found many had been one-sided or unhealthy. I made a conscious effort to develop new friendships with people who make me feel good about myself and support my healing journey.

Surrounding yourself with positive people brings joy and boosts self-esteem.

Forgive Yourself

Healing from betrayal trauma isn't a simple process; expect struggles and setbacks along the way.

The betrayal reflects the actions of the betrayer, not you. They could have ended the relationship with respect and empathy but chose selfishness and cruelty instead. These were their choices, not yours.

Be kind to yourself and make room for self-compassion.

Find Comfort in Pets

Pets can provide unconditional love and support during difficult times. Having a furry friend to cuddle and play with can bring comfort and joy, even when we are struggling.

Additionally, taking care of a pet can give us a sense of purpose and responsibility, which can be helpful in managing symptoms of betrayal trauma.

I couldn't have gotten through this without my dog.

Ditch the Alcohol

One important aspect of self-care during this time is giving up alcohol. Alcohol may provide temporary relief or numbness, but it can also hinder our ability to process emotions and make rational decisions.

Alcohol is a depressant, so it can leave you with low mood, increased anxiety, and disrupted sleep.

Learn about how my journey with alcohol affected my own healing process.

Listen to Podcasts and Audiobooks

There are many resources available in the form of podcasts and audiobooks that can provide insight and guidance on healing from betrayal trauma.

These resources can offer different perspectives and coping strategies that may be helpful to us in our journey towards recovery.

You might find some that really resonate with you, and this can feel validating and empowering.

Express Emotions Healthily

It's important to find healthy ways to process and express our emotions during this time.

This could include journaling, exercising, painting, coloring, or any other activity that allows us to release pent-up feelings in a safe and productive way.

Understand the Healing Journey

Healing from betrayal trauma is a journey that may involve many ups and downs. It's important to be patient with ourselves and understand that healing is not a linear process.

Some days, we may feel like we've made progress, while other days, we may feel triggered and back at square one.

This is normal and part of the healing process.

Practice Mindfulness and Meditation

Betrayal trauma can leave us feeling overwhelmed with negative thoughts and emotions.

Practicing mindfulness and meditation can help us quiet our minds, focus on the present moment, and increase self-awareness. This can lead to reduced anxiety, improved emotional regulation, and increased self-compassion.

I found breathing exercises and guided meditations particularly helpful in managing my emotional state.

Be Patient with Yourself

Taking care of ourselves is important in all aspects of our lives, but it becomes even more crucial when we are recovering from betrayal trauma. Betrayal can leave us feeling broken, lost, and overwhelmed.

And sometimes, people around us aren't so patient and feel like we should be over it by now, but unless anyone has experienced it for themselves, they can't possibly understand what it feels like. Can you imagine if anyone told a widow that she was grieving in the wrong way or for too long?

When we are subjected to betrayal trauma, we don't have our joint future stolen; a lot of our past has been snatched away from us, too.

Take your time; there's no set timeline for healing, and it's important to be patient with yourself as you navigate your emotions and recovery.

Conclusion

Betrayal trauma can be a difficult and painful experience. It's honestly been the toughest thing I've ever gone through, but with time and effort, it is possible to heal.

You are not alone, and there is always hope for healing and growth after experiencing betrayal trauma.

So remember to take care of yourself, prioritize your well-being, and know that you deserve happiness and peace in your life.